Wednesday 30 July 2008

Rumbling along the bottom .........

Douglas is really in a very bad place right now having decided that he really just wants to end it all. He has been swinging from total non compliance with anything to extremes of anger and frustration.
We have no way of knowing how much this is Douglas himself talking and how much is down to depression or is the result of the brain injury and we swing from faint optimism to depths of despair probably very much like Doug himself.

As of yesterday, Doug has at least accepted both medication and feeding again and very limited compliance with physio, washing, shaving etc. . As a result the removal of the trachy has been further delayed since he still needs a little suction.
He appears fairly communicative now, albeit in a rather negative fashion, and we take hope from this 'cause it means he hasn't really turned off so to speak. He is still very fragile however with his emotions very near the surface.
As for visitors, it really is almost an hour by hour judgment right now and I know this must make it hard for all of you, but its a case of suck it and see. I still feel its very important that he knows his friends are there for him so even if its only a 5 minute head round the door type of visit it really counts.
I know I don't have to say it but, for Doug right now, saying 'NO' to things is about the only degree of control he has so if you come along and he says no ..... don't take it personally.

Medically he is in very good shape and is on the minimum of drug intervention (anti-depressants) and physically his strength and mobility continue to return slowly and the only thing stopping his move to rehab is the need for the trachy. Somehow I wish we could better convince him of this in a rational fashion.

We hope and pray that he will eventually scramble out of this bad place and recover his drive to getting better.

Iain

7 comments:

Anonymous said...

HI Dougie,

I am in France now visiting friends. My trip has gone very well so far, but it has been too hot to cycle, you know me being an Alaskan chick I am a whimp when it comes to hot weather. How am I going to survie in the Caribbean? We are however planning a cycling trip for tomorrow I just hope it is cooler than it has been for the past few days.

I keep you in my thoughts and will visit when I return from France,
Heather

John Galloway said...

Yo dude

Thinking of you. Spoke to Tolly earlier today and I'll try to join him for a visit next week if you can thole us!

Big John G

Anonymous said...

Barks,

Keep your head up mate, we all need you to stay strong when times are hard.

you are in my thoughts mate

Derm

Anonymous said...

Hi Dougie, Sheena & Iain,
I want to be there to give you all a big hug just now. Dougie, nothing bad lasts for ever. You are just a breath away from getting active again. I just hope and pray something comes along to lift your spirits and help you through this bad patch. Steve and I are going to huff and puff some thunder storms your way. You will at least be able to marvel at the pyrotechnic wonders.

Keeping you all in our thoughts and prayers. Love, hugs and vibes from Annette & Steve.

Anonymous said...

Dougie,

my thoughts are very much with you at what must seem like an impossible time. But of course nothing is impossible and especially for you, you will get through this.

Keep that cheeky grin and glint in your eye Dougie while I plan a future break out to the pub with you!!

Love,
Rhea
xxx

Feek said...

Echo the big hug sentiment.
Wish we were closer, to say hi each day - we both think of you all every day.

Feek'n'Saz.

Anonymous said...

Dougie, you are NOT a quitter. How many times have you kept me going & kept me cheery through a bad patch. You are an AMAZING person and we all miss you and want you back. We don't come to see you to feel sorry for you (i know that's the last thing you'd want) but we come to show our love for you and to give you our support. You are such a stubborn bugger so don't you dare give up - you have SO much to give and we need you, your smiles, your BIG bear hugs (god, how much do i miss those) & your eternal cheeriness with life (plus, I need my latte & hallumi panini companion back!!). Use your anger to fight it - the more physio you do, the sooner you'll be out of that awful room and on the road to a full recovery in the Astley Ainsley. Remember Magnus? they told him he'd never walk again....he must have thought, bugger this and proved everyone wrong and look where he is now!!!!

I love you SO much Dougie - you mean the world to me, as do your parents, so make sure and give them a smile from me.

See you soon my wonderful friend, Jules xxxxx

You can do it, and we're all here behind you.