Poor Doug hit a really bad spot late on Sunday evening (23rd) initiated by a somewhat hurried move of bed space within the ward that placed him at the opposite end to the nursing station.
This seemed to completely destroy his sense of personal space and badly affected his confidence in his ability to control his environment.
This reawakened his feelings of insecurity and knocked his mood completely out of kilter - his feeling of frustration at his perceived lack of progress and his anger at all that he has lost returned in a trice, the consequence of which was a refusal to accept any intervention (feed, water, medication, physio etc.) and also a desire to be left completely alone.
However thank God, the good news is that, after an agonising couple of days he appears to have come round to accepting feed and medication as of 11 pm Tuesday 25th.
We were getting very concerned over his weakening state especially the effects of dehydration.
We can only hope that his mood continues to improve as the days pass.
Sheena and I have no way of knowing for sure just what he is going through but, from what he has said, it must be absolute torment and the fact that he is able to deal with it I believe says a great deal about him as a person. I'm sure he will tell me I'm talking rubbish when he gets round to reading all this for himself but ...............
So, on behalf of Douglas I extend apologies to those staunch friends who braved the Edinburgh weather in the last few days only to be turned away at the door so to speak. Your thoughts and kindness is now and always will be of immense importance to Doug as he struggles to come to terms with his own personal disaster.
Iain
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4 comments:
Dougie, your in my thoughts just now.
stay strong and keep up the fight dude.
take it easy mate
Derm
just read the latest - I'm SO sorry you're having to go through all this Dougie - LIFE sometimes!!!
Hope you'll feel up to it by Sunday but I'm going to come in and irritate you - and you can talk all the rubbish you like - I love it!!!
have found photos from the wedding so will bring them in for you.
Love as always (and the biggest hug in the world to you)
Jules xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
Dougieeeeeeeeeeeeeee!!!! It's been a while since I been able to get online and see what chaos you been up to at the Astley Ainsley only the best people get to stay there, I had to visit after my head injury!
Keep fighting mate, sounds like it's really hard work, but you got the most amazing fighting spirits of anyone I know, stick in there.
Sending you all my energy from North Wales. Love ta come poke my head in if I can make it north o the border.
Don't let them turkeys get you down!!
MO. xxxxxxx
hey Barky,
sitting here thinking of you pal.
Thought I would say "hi". Tried to call you the other day to bond and swap manly stories (perhaps even make some waffles)...anyway...I am really looking forward to chatting to you on the phone, as we have tonnes to talk about. Left you a voicemail on your mobile but not sure if you get reception in your ward.
Hey?
Have those dudes got you sorted you out with an XBOX in your pad yet? Tell 'em its for medical reasons... they will lap it up.
I cannot possibly begin to imagine what you are going through pal, and I am keen to find out so you better get your phone charged and ready!
When I think back to finding out about your blip, and thinking now just how far you have come in such a short time I realise just how FRICKIN hard you must be working matey. Still doesn't exempt you from gettin a bootin fae me though.. but it comes close.
I know you must have days of utter dispair but you never give up on a problem.... be it the low traverse, pink salmon or McRae.... do you remeber that night when I went to bed at 2 and got up at 8 to go to work and you were still playing? You freakin idiot!!!!!!
You always pissed me off cause you were the only person who wouldn't give up... and you always whip my ass at climbing ;O) heeee heeeee
Do you remember working that route down at Alien? I think it was a grey 7c+... you had been trying it for ages.... I remember the whoop you let out (not to mention a wall-stopping " I AM THE QUEEN")when you did it.
As a victory celebration you hung upside down by your toes and did your Batman thing from the ceiling. I remember watching you plummet headlong to the ground with a huge smile on your face. No Fear.
Or do you remember that day up at Glenlomond on John Knox's... watching you arse down that super steep gully, CRASH, and then almost crush your hand... remember it was your ring that saved your finger???
Hey... what about the time we all hired that van and drove to Sheffield... do you remember Neilly almost falling out the side door at 60 MPH cause we were trying to dry the van out... and yes... before you start to tell everyone else... yes... I am still a grumpy bastard in the morning.
I watched One Summer and The Real Thing the other day.. got super pumped to climb.
Look Ben.... Horsies!
I often think of you fella. Never more so when I am kayaking.
I decided that I wanted to try something new... you know... as a bit of a challenge.. Meeshy suggested sea kayaking as the ocean is so gnarly around here.
OK.... confession No.1 - I am ABSOLUTELY PISH (sorry Sheena and Iain if you are in the room but need to say it like this for impact). Yup.... in fact.... beyond pish.
It would be like watching a hippo trying to surf on a matchstick, or would be like just starting to ride a bike and then entering the World MTB champs.
Yes.... I am petrifyed.
Confession No.2 - Second time out in my kayak I had to get rescued. HAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA HAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA.
How embarassing...
Surprised I was not on the local news. Yes, that will give you an idea that not much happens around here.
I decided that it would be a good idea to go out for the second time ever kayaking in Force 5 winds with 1-1.5 metre swell.
BAD IDEA.
Capsised off a working port and ended up getting washed against the sea-wall amongst massive container ships - not pleasant.
Three dudes from the port helped me haul my kayak out whilst I swam to a ladder and hauled my lardy ass outta there.
The worst thing was one of the guys had one of those life-saver rings on a rope and was about to throw it to me.... never swam so fast in my life.
To make matters worse my next door neighbour is in charge of TasPorts and had to manage the rescue.... nice ... never gonna live that one down.
So now I do look at the weather forecast, and I was lucky I got blown back on to shore rather than out to sea.
Never mind. I guess it could have been a lot worse than being embarrassed.
So I must admit I do have to force myself to get back in my kayak, grit my teeth and start from the very beginning. Keep hearing your voice in the back of head each time I think of quitting, saying something like..." Shering you loser.. get back in that kayak or I will kick your ass... you can do it."
And I do.
Strangely it feels good to be utterly useless at kayaking. Its nice to learn a new paddle stroke, or feel like I have a bit more confidence from my last outing. Or even just time in the boat getting used it.
Keep thinking that it must be how newbies feel when they first start mountain biking, and just how much I take that for granted.
So I must earn my confidence in my kayak.
I know this means hundreds and hundreds of hours practising but I am committed. Figured you would give me hefty abuse if I quit :o)
In other things...we are about to move...again.
This time to a wee village similar in feel to Falkland or Dunkeld. It is one of the oldest villages in Australia, and has a duck pond.
How cool.
Also tonnes of sandstone buildings and it's flat.. YES..DAMN IT..... ITS FLAT MAN... DO YOU HEAR ME...., ITS FLAT (cue hysterical laughing).
Bit over hills at the moment.
And it has a garden for Isla to destro.... sorry enjoy.
Meeshy and I are vey much looking forward to moving and we should be in before xmas. Gonna hire a 3 tonne truck to move.
I will however not be doing handstands on 20 sheets of 8 by 4 whilst doing 90 down the motorway with an open rear door.
Ah Sheena and Iain.... if only you knew half the stuff Barx and the lads got up to. Ha ha.. Barky... I just landed you in it. Your parentals are now going to question you like the Spanish Inquision as to all the naughty things we got up to.
EEEEEE hEEE
Anyway.. my girls have just awoken from their slumber, so i will say cheer-bye for the mo and call you soon. So store up all your chat for then and remember... my phone card charges me 0.5 cents per minute which means at last count, I have 1023 minutes to chat.
Aww right dude.. get your ass in gear and lets bond.
Speak to you soon.
Love ya darlin'.
Your bud
DP
PS - Remember when these things are sent to try you fella, the Barksta takes it on the chin as usual, laughs about it, then gets on with the job.
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